Life Trade Offs And The Cost Of Success

Life is about trade-offs. When you see top-conference superstars, big-company executives, or successful founders, almost everyone reacts with envy. Most people think: if I were one of those success stories, if I stood where they stand, then those who once looked down on me would look up to me, those who once didn’t like me would chase me, and every regret would be filled in by the glow of success. But reality doesn’t work that way.

In truth, those success stories have sacrificed an enormous amount. Once, I too looked at these people and felt envy first. But now, my first reaction is sympathy, because behind them lies pressure and sacrifice almost beyond imagining. They’ve given up so much: youth, physical health, companionship, intimate relationships, time, freedom, and more. Many people, once they reach a certain position, find that most of their choices are no longer theirs to make freely — because energy is conserved, and even the most formidable people are bound by that. To gain anything, you must sacrifice many things; the higher you climb, the more you must compress the energy and attention you can give to other parts of your life. It is lonely at the top. These people are destined for a certain solitude.

Many people think: when I succeed, I’m going to throw it back in the faces of those who once rejected me. But the disappointments experienced by those at the top have never been about I’m not worthy or I can’t pull it off; they’re precisely about the fact that I did it too well — to the point that I had to personally cut away the things I once cherished.

There’s a well-known truth: (1) the people around you are excellent and capable of producing creative sparks with your thinking, (2) you have temporal freedom, (3) you can make a lot of money — these three together form an impossible triangle. No matter what you do, every choice is a trade-off among these three.

So what do I think? Speaking only for myself: I believe that in this world, doing badly leads to disappointment, and doing well also leads to disappointment. So why not do well? That’s how I see it now. I also recognize that this is a trade-off, and I respect different people’s different pursuits.